Cold Fusion Cuisine Demands Michelin Cheffery And Needs A Cooking School

I apologize for not being as earthy as Julia or as tasty as Nigella.

But these recipes might just suit your fancy.

Overtime keep returning to this post as more and more recipes will appear.

1. European ‘Cattery’ Cookery Hot and Really Hot

The ingredients you will need to prepare wonderful fusion cuisine are variable, there are almost as many variations as there are chefs. In general you will need some metal power in a very fine form ranging from a few microns to a few thousandths of a micron in size, nickel is popular as is palladium but almost any ‘hydrogen loving’ metal will suffice.

Next you need some hydrogen and this is where the trickster chef’s are cagey as ‘hydrogen’ means either natural hydrogen containing both isotopes or perhaps deuterium, leaving this generic is the oldest trick in the intellectual property/patent book!

Some low atomic # metal, aka lithium or its neighbouring kin – boron, sodium, calcium, potassium…. you might best start with lithium. This metal can be provided in pure form of as a compound that includes the ‘hydrogen/deuterium.’

Perhaps some other trace material will prove useful such as a bit of carbon or even iron. These additives start to make what you are cooking look a lot like what a consummate ‘catalyst’ cook has added from their ‘spice’ rack.

Now what separates a true ‘CHEF’ from the ‘commis chef’ is technique. Cleanliness is next to godliness in the kitchen or laboratory and keep in mind the ‘devil is in the details.’ Anyone can toss all the same ingredients in a pot and stir very very few can be awarded a Michelin Star for the resulting fare.

Here’s a protocol some aspiring cold fusion cooks have shared. Whether the ingredients and method turn out heavy Russian borscht or fine Italian wedding soup is up to ‘gods.’

Don’t forget to scrupulously clean you cookware before and during your efforts.

1. Bake Ni to clean it up, an hour or few in hot oven
2. Mix the ingredients with mortar and pestle (1 gm Ni + 0.1gm LiAlH4 (D4) and add to the pot, tightly seal – it’s a pressure cooker!
3. Bake the reactor vessel at 200C or more under a good vacuum, e-3 torr or better,
4. Flush the hot system several times with ‘hydrogen/deuterium’ applying vacuum between flushes to ‘clean up’ what can be cleaned easily
5. Begin heating for the ‘full baking’ while holding pressure of about 1 atm
6. Heat slowly, over the course two hours under hydrogen pressure to 300 C
7. Raise temperature to over 1200C, pressure regulated to approx 1-0.5bar abs.
8. Measure heat input vs heat output and ideally compare to a duplicate control that has no fuel.
9. Don’t forget the safety glasses, Geiger counter, and Web cam!
10. Enjoy success, repeat as desires or necessary.

What is going on in this cooking process is that hydrogen is first cleaning oxides from the surfaces of the nickel loving metals and other internal parts and materials inside the reactor/oven. With most metals, especially nickel, there is a very potent oxide layer that prevents hydrogen atoms from entering the nickel or from forming an atomically thin layer of hydrogen on the surface of the nickel. This is catalysis cookery that all catalyst cooks learn in their first ‘easy bake’ catalyst ovens but as easy as it may seem it is widely regarded as pure black magic in the world of cooking up hydrogen active catalysts.

You may have notice no mention of the method of applying heat has been specified… ah ha that’s no trivial issue and therein lies some experimental territory that might just make or break your hope for a Michelin Star.

Cookware

Rossi fine Italian cookware

Russian Parkhomov ‘borscht’ pot

Some cooks are fanatical about their choice of cookware and will swear that it makes all the difference as to what cookware you use, whether its one or another substance that is yet another of the ‘tricks of the trade’ to learn by experiment. Some cookware is more forgiving of sloppy or inadequate technique than others.

You’ve got some catching up to do to match Master Chef Andrea Rossi who cooks in a walk-in ‘oven.’

Your First Steps

Now there are two paths one might be on in pursuing such ‘cattery’ cookery. One path is to learn how and in that case the portion size need not be large nor efficiently prepared. However it may satisfy the chef it likely won’t satisfy a restaurant full of hungry diners. To satisfy the throngs willing to love and perhaps more willing to hate one must be able to not only prepare an incredible offering but do so over and over again in ever-increasing volumes as the word of a rare delight will bring a crush of hungry consumers.

Not sure you can manage all of the details?

Here’s a link to a Cold Fusion Cooking supply, LookingForHeat.com, where you can buy everything you need for a few hundred dollars!

Note: Before you get too far along think very seriously about selling your portfolio of oil and fossil fuel resource stocks!

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Coming Soon Great Scandinavian, British, American, Asian Fusion Cuisine Recipes, and more…

2. Quark Soup of Scandinavia with zesty muons, In Between Hot and Cold Fusion

3. Traditional Anglo Boiling Fusion Sausages

4. Noisy (if you’re a dog) Sonofusion

5. Samurai Fusion

6. Cold Fusion Curry’s and Hot Pots of Asia

7. Dr. Strangelove’s Favourite Mischugenon Blintz, Kosher Fusion almost vapourware 😉

8. Golden Flakes Breakfast of Champions

Have some ideas of what you’d like to see? Just send in your recipe/cuisine desires via our handy comment form. We are especially interested in hearing about North African and Latin fusion cuisine.

(While some of our recipes are droll, noone are for trolls so don’t bother banging on the door if your prediliction is toward the latter.)

PS: Here’s a link to some funny cooking quips, lend a little bit of your ‘little grey cell time’ and send in comments for fusion cuisine variants on these themes/memes.

One disgruntled ‘fusion cuisine commis chef’ has already sent in a quip about a particular Italian recipe – “The most remarkable thing about my Italian ‘Don’s’ fusion cuisine is that for years he has served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.”

PPS: Yes there will be a movie, along the lines of Julia & Julia (watch clip below), though I am not sure I’ll manage the pace of that hit movie. Much depends on whether and whims of a beneficial Angel investor.

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Disclaimer/Admonition: If you can’t cook get out of the kitchen! Don’t forget the old favourite, too many cooks spoil the broth!